Hi there beautiful souls!
It's time I pour out some heartfelt truths about my journey, navigating through life solo and cherishing every moment of it. Being solo isn’t a phase for me; it’s a choice. And let me tell you, it's been one of the most empowering decisions I've ever made. Inspired by podcasts by Dr. Peter McGraw - Solo - The Single Person's Guide to a Remarkable Life, I think it is time I speak about my journey. Yes my personal life, something those close to me know I generally keep close to my chest.
On this path, I've discovered the sheer importance of having a circle that respects and supports my choices. It’s not about justifying my solo status; it’s about celebrating the freedom to live life on my terms. Recently, spending time with a dear friend in her 60s, someone who has embraced solo life for years, was like breathing in a gust of fresh, affirming air. She understood the societal pressures I faced, the ones that cast discomfort upon those of us who embrace our solo journey without any hesitation.
Speaking of pressures, oh boy, the whispers of society! There’s this misconception that happiness comes neatly packaged within the confines of marriage. But statistics paint a different picture. Contrary to popular belief, marriage isn’t a one-size-fits-all happiness formula. The journey to joy comes in myriad forms, and solo living is a path paved with rich experiences and abundant moments of fulfillment.
One of my closest friends once said, "Samantha, divorce is the successful conclusion to a marriage." In that moment, when my life felt like it was crumbling, his words became the cornerstone of a new beginning. He, with his loving partner, showed me the beauty of stability and love beyond the conventional norms.
And let’s talk about the queries—the constant inquiry of whether I’ve found someone yet. Initially, it felt like an intrusion, disrupting my peace. But now, I've learned to smile and gently deflect these questions. It's hard to explain to others that finding someone doesn’t begin with an active search; it often happens serendipitously when you’re content with your own company.
Navigating these societal pressures has been a learning curve. Understanding that their discomfort with my choice doesn’t have to become my discomfort has been liberating. "You're so happy! Are you sure there isn’t anyone in your life?" they ask, puzzled. My response? A joyous laugh, a question in return: "Am I not allowed to be happy simply because I am living a life I choose and love?"
So, here's the thing—I revel in my own company. I dance to Christmas songs, throw my own parties, and yes, enjoy every bit of it, solo. The journey here hasn’t been simple. It took time to appreciate the richness of these solo experiences. But being solo doesn’t equate to being closed off; it signifies a love and appreciation for oneself.
Supporting a friend’s choice to remain solo isn’t just about refraining from asking, "Have you met someone yet?" It’s about celebrating their freedom to live authentically and being there to share the joys of their unique journey.
Living a solo lifestyle doesn’t mean shutting the door on love. In fact, some of the most profound, loving, and intimate connections I've experienced didn’t conform to societal norms. These relationships were built on a foundation of understanding that our goals and dreams might not align in a way that sustains a romantic partnership.
Yet, the love we shared was immense—so much so that we supported each other wholeheartedly in pursuing those dreams, even if it meant parting ways romantically. It's time we embrace the shift in paradigms, recognizing that evolving relationship dynamics don’t threaten established norms; instead, they offer a refreshing perspective on the diverse nature of love and connections.
Many of us value autonomy and cherish our partners enough to understand that sacrificing personal happiness, dreams, and purpose often leads to the fractures we witness in relationships today. True connection transcends the traditional timeline; it persists long after both individuals have achieved their dreams. It’s a beautiful intertwining of souls, where bonds and feelings endure, fostering a profound engagement between two individuals, regardless of the form that relationship takes.
If you are navigating a solo lifestyle or are curious about it and would like support feel free to reach out. I am happy to guide you towards living a life you love on your terms.
